Negative Self-Talk: More Harmful Than You Think?
We’ve all been there. Those little moments where you make a mistake and, without even thinking, say something like, “I’m such an idiot” or “I can’t do anything right.” It seems harmless, right? But here’s the reality: those words aren’t just a fleeting reaction to frustration. They start to embed themselves in your subconscious, shaping how you see yourself and how you show up in the world.
I’m telling you this because I’ve been there. Growing up, I was extremely self-critical. I’d mess something up, and instantly the words “you dumbass” or “I can’t do anything right” would flood my mind. And it didn’t stop there—I started saying it out loud.
I remember one day at work, after I screwed something up, I blurted out, “Man, I’m such a screw-up, I can’t do anything right.” And that’s when it happened. One of my supervisors, who had probably heard enough of it by then, repeated it back to me. Word for word. He looked at me and said, “Well, if that’s how he talks about himself, why can’t I?”
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was stunned, and so was my other supervisor involved in our three way discussion. In that moment, I realized something huge—if I talk about myself like that, why should I expect anyone else to treat me better? If a friend or family member said those things about themselves, I’d defend them. But I had no problem saying it to myself.
We Become What We Think About
As Earl Nightingale said in The Strangest Secret, “We become what we think about.” The seeds we plant in our minds can either grow into something prosperous or poisonous. Negative self-talk? That’s a poisonous seed. You’re cultivating a mindset that not only chips away at your confidence but also shapes how you present yourself to others, including on camera.
When I work with clients on video projects, I see it all the time. You can tell when someone is battling negative self-talk. It’s in their body language, their lack of eye contact, and the way they downplay their value. When you think poorly of yourself, it shows up everywhere, especially on video, where every hesitation and self-doubt is magnified.
Joe Dispenza, in Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, talks about how we are often living on autopilot, letting our subconscious beliefs drive our actions. Those negative thoughts aren’t just passing complaints—they become who we are. And when you're constantly telling yourself you’re not good enough, that’s exactly what you'll become.
How Negative Self-Talk Affects You On and Off Camera
Let’s talk about how this shows up in your everyday life and on camera. When you carry this internal dialogue, people can feel it. It comes through in your interactions—your words, your posture, even your energy. On camera, it’s even more obvious. Whether you’re promoting your business or sharing your expertise, the camera picks up on every insecurity.
I’ve had clients who can’t even get through a sentence without apologizing or downplaying their accomplishments. And when you dig a little deeper, you find that negative self-talk is at the root of it. They don’t believe in themselves, and it shows.
Here’s the thing: If you wouldn’t tolerate someone speaking to your friend or loved one like that, why tolerate it from yourself? You wouldn’t let anyone tear you down like that, so why are you doing it to yourself?
Changing the Narrative
Now, I’m not saying this is something you change overnight. I didn’t. It took time, and honestly, I still work on it today. But becoming aware of it is the first step. You have to catch those thoughts and start reframing them. Instead of “I’m an idiot,” try “I made a mistake, and I’ll learn from it.” Instead of “I can’t do anything right,” say “I didn’t get it this time, but I’m getting better. Something personal I did for a period of time in my life was I'd get up every morning before going into work look at myself in the mirror and say I love you man, or good morning Daniel, I love you. It sounds silly or dumb at times but the long term effects its had on my life I cannot put a dollar value on, it's the reason I am where I am today and the reason I continue to work towards where I want to be. There are those times in your life where you have got to be your biggest supporter.
It’s like Earl Nightingale’s analogy of planting seeds—you can plant seeds of doubt, or you can plant seeds of growth. Which one are you watering every day?
Joe Dispenza talks about reprogramming the brain to break free from those old patterns. You have to consciously choose different thoughts until they become automatic. It’s not easy, but once you start, you’ll notice the difference in how you carry yourself—and it will absolutely transform how you come across on camera and in life.
Final Thoughts
Negative self-talk isn’t just something that happens in your head. It’s something that shows up in your body language, in your confidence, and how others see you. Whether you’re giving a presentation, being filmed, or just going through life, the way you speak to yourself matters. And trust me, if you’re hard on yourself, people will pick up on it—especially when you’re on camera.
If this sounds like you, it’s time to flip the script. Start being kinder to yourself. Because once you change that internal dialogue, everything else will follow. You'll not only come across better on camera, but you'll also live with more confidence and purpose in every aspect of your life.
